So, in an idle moment, I wondered, “Does a white cockroach exist? If so, would it be an outcast?” Unfortunately, my idle moment took place at lunch in a crowded cafeteria, and I inadvertently did my wondering out loud, resulting in a fairly horrified look from the incredibly tiny Asian girl sitting next to me, who wanted nothing more than to enjoy her Jamba Juice and Harry Potter book, and didn’t deserve to be swept up in this strange vortex of insectile conjecture. Jesus, man – just finish your sandwich like a normal person.
Anyway, post-lunch, I did some extensive research* and found out that white cockroaches do indeed exist…sort of.
But the catch is they don’t last very long. The “white” cockroach is actually just a newly-molted cockroach, shed of its too small exoskeleton. It will do this several times as it becomes an adult, the exoskeleton hardening and becoming the familiar shade of poop brown we know and love.
I do wish that they were in fact very rare, and that the albino cockroach was viewed as a seer and mystic within the roach hierarchy. He would live in a hut of discarded sunflower shells on the edge of the colony, and matters of great roach importance would be brought before his wavy, waxen antennae. He would dispense cryptic wisdom in a hissing, high-pitched cadence, warning with Old Testament fervor of the evils of the “Hotels” from which no roach guest has ever returned, and to stay away from the delicious white powder that turned the insides of healthy roaches into black goo…
Just to be clear, rare or not, if I see one of these motherfuckers in my house, I will stomp him good.
*Ed. note – This is a complete lie.
(info via ickyology, pic via Ester Beatriz)
