A One-Act Play about Smoking Pot Out of a Human Skull

(From the Houston Chronicle: 3 Houston-area teens have been accused of desecrating a child’s grave and smoking pot from the skull. They were apparently all home-schooled. Link to article

Getting Ahead in Life.

A One-Act Play About Smoking Pot Out of a Human Skull

Two teenage boys, MATTHEW and KEVIN sit in a living room, smoking pot from a human skull.

MATTHEW: Careful, man – this weed really goes to your HEAD!
KEVIN: Did you just make a pun based on the fact that we’re smoking pot out of a skull?
MATTHEW: Um, yes.
KEVIN: Knock it off.
MATTHEW: I’m just trying to keep this in its proper ironic context.
KEVIN: I appreciate judicious irony as much as the next guy, but maybe this isn’t the time. Jesus, Matthew, can’t you be serious for two minutes?
MATTHEW: Hey, I can be serious. It’s just that I’m really stressed out over the SAT’s. I mean, a lot’s riding on it. Only like, my entire future…so I thought we’d just smoke some pot out of a child’s skull that we stole from a graveyard, and relax.
KEVIN: You’re right. I’m worried about my applications for Harvard and Princeton. If I don’t get Ivy League, I just don’t know what I’ll do.
MATTHEW: Well, as George Bernard Shaw said, “A little learning is a dangerous thing, but we must take that risk because a little is as much as our biggest heads can hold.”
KEVIN: You’re right…Wait a minute, is that another skull reference?
MATTHEW: Guilty!
KEVIN: You’re incorrigible. Hand me that skull.

CURTAIN

(Note: if you want to perform this play, you have to pay me a lot of money.)